Sleep Is For The Weak

It’s been a while since I updated this page but I have a good excuse.  You see my daughter was born.  She’s now 11 weeks old.  I can hardly believe it!  The joys of watching her grow up even this little bit is indescribable so I guess I won’t try.  Parents, I know you know what I mean.

The month has been a roller coaster in itself. July 30 – August 4. my parents came down to visit us.  My mom was on summer break as she’s an elementary school art teacher.  They live about 300 miles away and wanted to spend time with Kira.  I let them babysit while Pami and I worked on Friday and Monday, as well as part of the day Saturday.  It was wonderful as they got to spend time with their grand daughter, and Pami and I got a little time to ourselves.

That weekend my mom got the results to her last exam, and found out she had uterine cancer.  She made plans to have surgery the following Monday, August 10th.  Pami and I went up to spend time with them that weekend, and to be there for the surgery.  She got through the surgery alright on Monday.  We headed back to Indiana Tuesday morning.  I talked to my mom on Thursday the 13th and found out she got the results from her additional biopsies, she was cancer free following the surgery, which was exceptional news.

I talked to my mom again on August 20th and 21st.  She was at home, and on the mend.  She was really looking forward to school starting, and had a plan to go back before she was likely to be really ready.  She was going to sit in the middle of the room, and explain that if the kids didn’t behave themselves they would be the ones responsible for canceling Art Class for the entire school for six whole weeks.  We had a really good chat those days and she really did sound like she was doing pretty well.

On Thursday August 27th I got an urgent phone message from my dad.  It turns out Mom had been having problems with being sick over the weekend, had seen the surgen, and her doctor twice that week to try to settle her stomach.  Thursday afternoon my dad came home from work and mom was in some level of respiratory distress.  He rushed her to the ER, who admitted her to the I.C.U.  He said to me at that point we didn’t know anything, and that we, pami and I, shouldn’t do anything heroic.

Friday morning I went to work, and received a phone call pretty early from my dad.  He said that mom had some kind of blockage, that lead to ~4L of fluid to build up in her stomach.  She must have gotten some of that into her lungs which lead to the breathing problems.  He said her status hadn’t really changed much, and that we should stay near a phone but not make any major changes yet.  I spent much of the day worrying about what was happening, but kept working which helped keep my mind occupied.

Friday night around 7:00 or so I got a call from my dad saying that mom had had surgery that day, she got through that pretty well, which was the good news.  The bad news was that she wasn’t breathing well because of the damage to her lungs.  This is where I had my first real meltdown.  I was still at work, and after composing myself managed to go back and get another 45 minutes worth of migrations done.  Then took the next call from my dad.  He said both the Doctor and Nurse had new numbers for him, and that mom’s O2 levels were so low it was unlikely she would make it until morning.  I almost couldn’t talk at this point……..

I managed to collect myself enough to get back to my desk.  Started to collect my things, put Kira in the car seat, and told my co-workers that things weren’t looking good and that I had to leave.  I’m not sure of the order of things from there but a few things happened.

• I managed to get home
• Pami’s Sister got to my house
• I talked to Pami and explained I needed to be in Wisconsin 3 hours ago
• I was in a car near Chicago

I got a call from my dad on the way north, we were near the Lake Forest Oasis on I-94 when he called.  He had received a call from the hospital that he needed to be there ASAP.  Shortly after that call, he called again to say that while he was on the phone with me, my mom had died.  We met him at the hospital an hour or so later, and I got to see my mom which was really hard because every time I looked at her I expected to see her breathe.

We met with the funeral director on Monday, and scheduled the funeral for Wednesday August 30th.  The funeral was both difficult, and wonderful at the same time.  First the fantastic people at Six Feet Up sent a peace plant arrangement with a card that was totally unexpected, and wonderful.  Thank you all!  Second it was amazing to see all the people whos lives my mom had touched.  The Brookfield Christian School closed so that any of the faculty who wanted to go to the funeral could, most if not all of them came, as well as any of the students.  A lot of the parents of children who were students of my mom mentioned the stories she would tell of her brothers, especially Jimmy.  A couple mentioned that they thought they knew me just from all the stories my mom had told about me in her classes.  And one boys mother explained that stories about me, and having to deal with bullies in elementary school really helped her son.  More than just students and teachers came to mom’s funeral though.  There were Sunday school children who came, over fifty Red Hatters came wearing their purple dresses and red hats.  If there had been any doubt that my mom was a good person who was well loved before this day certainly would have abolished those thoughts.

In any case, there’s a lot more to tell but I’m rambling, you’re likely uninterested, and it’s 4am.  Thanks for letting me put this in writting.  Hopefully I’ll get back to writing more regularly.